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Middle School Parent Webinar: Managing Stress During the Pandemic

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This is a recording of the Middle School Webinar hosted by Hill Top's Clinical Department on Thursday, May 7, 2020.

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alarm off we going to present my screen cuz I just have a couple of notes that we're going to share with you first and then we really want to offer the opportunity for you to ask questions if you think you might forget the question as we're going away I'm in to ask a question just keep your mics off and then shut them off when it comes time but if you want to wait till I'm done going over the the agendas or information that I'm Sharon or Sharon you're more than welcome to JPC the top right corner right next to your own face that you see if you click on that you can add the question there in the chat and one of us will get it also to miss the last answer is in here too Miss share my entire screen and I'll get the car. Nissan getting people to just to let you know everyone we are recording the others how many questions during our mini has been chasing me to put it in the chat can you see my Word document Chris her Sabrina can you see my word document so we just wanted to go over a couple things and then give you an opportunity to ask us questions and we will do our best to insure on the spot I'm confident that between the three of us working with the middle school students will be able to do that so one of those some of the things that we want to touch on is just what's going on right now has made muscle loss of control that goes for the students and us as adults one of the things that is is helpful that I know we do with our students regularly throughout the school is not your own Stress and Anxiety and almost used it as a way to model coping strategies to your to your child so if you get frustrated about something really obvious to say I'm going to go take a walk or I'm frustrated can you give me a couple minutes so I can take some deep breaths so things like these are the coping strategies I'm using you know get them things what works for them time is like right now I'm hearing this from some students it's like they never realize that the last day of school was going to begin on March 15th or whatever that Friday was there's a piece like kind of like breathing and a feeling of loss maybe some anger in there their they're now going from seeing their friends everyday I'm also students who come from and environment maybe where they do have a lot of friends in Hilton Nashville students a little bit better they still friendships and now they don't have that on I think some of our younger students particularly that's maybe even more so 5th and 6th acronym to connect with their their peers maybe during FaceTime I am hearing some of the older kids are our connecting through text and through FaceTime calls for them to have the social connections are real as much as we're able to help them with as adults I know I've offered it to some of my students to help offer to put together the connection that they can make socially with their their peers then there's also students who might feel a little relieved that there's less social stressors and I guess that's okay in the time being but it's still important to help encourage them make connections I put on their attitude because I'm I'm wondering are you having difficulty with your child getting angry at you getting frustrated at you and right now during the 1010 pandemic and also be in quarantine for as long as we have it it's really easy for these attitudes to be escalated we always say this in counseling like we try to choose our battles so I we also try not to take their understated anger such a I rolled in something way we try not to take it personally because once we take it personally as adults what we don't want to do is kind of like attack back or fight not fight that like kind of yelled back or do something that just escalated their frustration or anger or even more also keep in mind that disrespect from a student it had it comes from a place of hurt I regularly say that a student doesn't misbehave just to misbehave there's something going on so it's really important communicate with your child it's probably helpful to communicate in a way that gives them a heads up it's rare unless we're in an emergency is counselors that we just the student and say we need to talk I'm a liar X depending on on the student we try and give them a heads-up or an option like a really like to talk to you about you know whatever it is and then say can we talk this morning or at law give them a choice because they might not be ready to talk to process it a little bit the thought of having this conversation obviously if it's an emergency or if it's something that is so serious of disrespect you know physical are really inappropriate verbal than I think as a parent you also have to you know do your job in that way it is tough though too because as parents I don't envy you you've become parents as teachers counselors therapist I'm sure your days are extremely stressful the other thing and I think this looks more to some of our older students through 12 have nine to 12 is next week but when we constantly check on their academics it could lead to them to believe that you don't have faith in them to do it on their own so there's like kind of a way to go about it as best as you can to still still keep in check with them but also trust that they're they're getting work done on the less faith we show them the then they do not have faith in themselves so there's kind of like a fine line on how to get to manage that but so that's the information I wanted to share with Chris or Sabrina do you want to touch I'm in in any way from that or do you are you okay to start taking questions I'm all right with questions if anybody has them you pretty much covered everything I would have said relating to that like I'm you know with the 8th grade students I feel like a lot of what you said is probably happening with some of the yeah the students that I am working with so having faith across the board Foods in the escalation in attitudes and and yes not having faith in the checking in with work and and The Grieving part I think that's a big piece of what we've been talking about my 8th grade group but I think that there are a tight-knit group so they're really feeling that loss of like being able to see one another and and you know weather in person and all the fun stuff that we had planned for the end of the school year I think they're really missing that and on the positive side that I feel like the 8th graders I've been doing a really good job at staying connected with one another though and group or like the fun Friday stuff but even on their own I think they've been putting in effort so that's really good to see but yeah yeah and piggybacking off of you Chris also see the same with r v 6th graders and 7th graders with using their chat in order to stay connected so I know a lot of parents you know maybe frustrated with the chatting but there is some positivity within the chat because that is a sign that they are staying connected to their peers so even in group I tried to say to them you know yes it is fine and it is okay but please make sure you are prioritizing you know what needs to be done prior to your needs verse so tsp.gov we want to open up to all of you cuz I really want to give you an opportunity to ask questions again as someone's asking questions please feel free to the chat maybe a situation that's going on tell me your mic is on I don't know if you were trying to to say something Mike is off inside and you're trying to turn your gun if you scroll down to the bottom of the screen or even click on the bottom of the screen you'll see a bar that comes up and there's a microphone is probably read on your screen if you click it I know it'll go away and you'll be able to be able to hear you you can put it in the chat if you'd like the chat is looks like a little message bubble right next to your face it's in the top right corner yeah okay so we have from mrs. zeltsman I notice more texts and more fidgeting lately any tips uncontrolled jumping right on this but Chrysler Sabrina also feel free to I guess it also depends what triggers my I've seen it a lot like Stress and Anxiety I'm so if that's true to to your son or not anxiety and kind of working with the student on what coping strategies they can use to kind of to relax calm down what's causing the stress and anxiety the demands of the strong word but the demands of the academics online I mean this is a whole new world for all of us I know there are students that maybe have been through cyber school but at the same time cyber school also looks different from what we're doing because we're not a cyber school work purposely in school because it allows the kids to make social connections and that's part of our our program so I would I would say trying to find ways to to relax and to come down into kind of relieved some of the stress or anxiety if that's what's triggering and then I would start with recognizing what the triggers are the cause that stress and anxiety might be a good opportunity to for the modeling piece that we talked about if you find that you know they're not doing it on their own that would be a good opportunity to try to incorporate that and do things as a family in terms of Leo like schedule sometime in for meditation or whatever it may be I think that's a good opportunity for the modeling piece because if they don't see us doing it then they're not going to want to do it themselves I'm not even learning that even with my two-year-old that we've been trying to have times throughout the day to do like some yoga or something I'll take a walk whatever it maybe I think it's Portland that the kids see us as their parents doing it as well because then they won't buy into it if they don't think we're not buying into it either would be even so obvious about it it might not be as obvious oh I feel so stressed I'm going to do this because that's what I love to do something like that person that he video game and at the same time I don't know if you all agree with that I'm just I'm kind of guessing that cuz I hear Save-A-Lot in the thing with video games is yes it's helpful for them to use it to relieve some stress and that sort of thing and to kind of have a time to relax at the same time if you're concerned they're definitely things I wanted to put in my agenda to and I noticed as I was sharing it is that like making a schedule with with your child sitting down and putting together some sort of structure now that we're going to be going into the summer soon and there's a there's a chance I don't know any additional 10 you but there's a chance that we don't know what summer programs are going to look like they might also be virtual to I really wish I hope they are in but if they are putting putting them on a schedule is really helpful and vinegar I'm sorry I didn't want to cut you off so I can make sure that they have like I think it would go over well if they have a say in kind of the schedule as well, so when you're making it can you can include things like in a Leisure Time release your activities where are they I think they'll appreciate being a part of creating that schedule is more likely to follow it put it together with them even if they're one of the younger ones 5th grade I would I would still them have a say the other thing too I would encourage you I know this is kind of off the topic of the quest originally talking about but I would encourage you like if you feel like you're going into the Summer with the possibility of of being home reach out to your students counselor or counselors and we'd be more than happy to help you works for you works for the schedule like that with with your child we all work really well together we're like if one of us is extremely busy we will bounce it off to someone else does that answer your question about the the text that helpful and then we have a couple more great as it pertains to Austin I think yeah I think it's if you know any kind of the next two questions are pretty similar in a way where they they seem like the students want their alone time and I think it's okay as long as yeah that goes with the having faith in them and if they're telling you that they're okay and they seem like they're you know handling things on their own and they're not you know I know for Austin he likes being outside and he enjoys you no good thing and things like that and the fact that he's able to do that is actually really good for him and he's getting time with his peer in terms of group and things I be texting and things with other students too so I think it's completely okay that he is enjoying the time by himself because really that's probably not going to be at home another opportunity like this. I kind of have some time to yourself and work on things and do things that make you you know happy so I think that's what I'm seeing with Austin so I don't see it as a negative and then to answer the neck as long as I think he needs still doing these things that you guys used to do together I think it's okay cuz it's also coming with the age I keep getting you know to be in high school now I got a lot about teenagers find the Independence at that time and they don't really want to hear be around their parents as much as they used to so as long as he's still doing those things I would say give him that space and then still try to let you know courage some down time with the family or quality time I'm sorry go off of that again I also think it's important that you know some of the kids they do have their own personal time because some of them that's just how they disconnect they just bet that's how they disconnect that's just how they relieve their stress you know not being around people or you know just taking the time to have that moment of self-care I'm for there so it's always just like us like sometimes we just need okay you like Mom or Dad I just need five minutes to sit alone or just like you as parents I just need 5 or 10 minutes just to sit alone away from the kids away from work and to do whatever you need to do for you personal cell cell also going off of Chris and Martin as I was saying just make sure that they're that you're still checking in on them when they are having these moments just to say okay I'm just checking in on you are you okay are you good cool and then go about whatever it was you were doing and let them do what they do also too cuz cuz we are throwing a lot at units could be things you're already doing just remember to not doubt yourself in the way you're handling because I know we sometimes do it as counselors to and will feel like defeated by a bias difficult to understand sometimes try not to do that stay confident in what you're doing and the reason I say that is because when I'm Chris and Sabrina were talking about like let them do their own thing for that time but also make sure they're still doing the same things with you I'm in my mind I was thinking just keep an eye on them without them knowing you're keeping an eye on them and I was going to say to you Tammy and even all of the parents in here like you know your child and you know if something's going on so I mean if you do it like in Disguise I'm that's okay too continue your judgment of the of your of your children I know in This Time It's probably hard to do that cuz of how chaotic quarantine is or might not be any other thoughts for that question is that helpful for everyone and for Tammy who asked and also yes and Metric house key we also answered yours in that anything follow up questions for you can put it in the chat if you're keeping your mic off for background noise tell me did you have something to add no I just feel like the quarantine kind of prematurely pushed him into this fifteen-year-old so you know I do question all the time and I I I I do kind of go back and forth with okay what's typical teenager what's not typical with the autism and what is just Luke and so right now name all of that transition. Where I'm just trying to figure it out to best support him but at the same time I have you to try to listen to him and balance that too so it's not it's been in Death Valley that's good that's like the more you you ask questions and force things he's a little bit more he's going to like take a step back and be like you know maybe be a little bit so I think what you're doing is completely fine like your he is transitional stage of his life and so are you in and you know I think like Marla said don't second-guess what you're doing because you know you got to have confidence in what you're doing but he's he's doing great he's finding out over Collies and I have to keep remembering that it said it was Harrison you know our house is relatively call me doing relatively well and got to keep that perspective but I do see a new the 15 year old personality and that's a little bit different when you can't escape from earlier than we expected yeah and wish you would have happened outside of quarantine you're not alone in that situation I don't I haven't heard from parents about this but I'm noticing my own students that I seen group it's like a positive to it where they're building some independence from this concerning summer having a more difficult time but we are I am seeing some Independence and so I could see the like all the sudden becoming 15 in this time and then also to you're also not alone in having a hard time to differentiate the autism vs. typical teenager child personality not it's not an easy task and we assess probably during the school year more than you do in a day we have a hard time differentiating we have to really likes it Down Apartment inside what is this and why is it why is it happening yeah I think one positive two that may come from this quarantine situation is that whether the students like it or not they're all practicing their self-advocacy skills right now is they do like we are either they all need to be show some Independence in terms of like reaching out to their teachers and while yes, are struggling with doing that I think we've seen a bit of an increase in with all the students in because they do at this point so as they're getting older even if we're talking about the 5th and 6th graders like this is a skill that we work on constantly throughout their time at Hilltop so this is there. They're getting a crash course in that right now before we move on to another question. Mrs. Gillespie has some insight for us that she can share related to some Camp stuff if you want to go ahead and do that I just put out there in case anybody had questions about what we're planning for Camp I know that you sent something out I think earlier this week or maybe it was late I'm sure I'm not the first person to say it's all blending together right now but there are plans from for both the regular summer camp for the pathways Independence and the summer innovator to go online if that's what we need to do there's also plan for a hybrid so you know best case scenario where you know everything is great by the end of June and they said we can start there are plans for doing small groups in person and continuing some online stuff online activities will be both live and recorded so there will be some things that people can join in and do as a happening and then also activities that students can jump into as they want so they can pick and choose the activities they want to participate in I think there's something else there's you know the biggest change will be there probably even if we're all together there probably won't be the Friday field trips because I don't imagine that the Franklin Institute is a place we're going to want to be going into monks unless somebody develops a miracle cure in the next couple of weeks but there are plans to do something to have students actively engage for the six weeks throughout the summer so that option will be there for those of you who want to use Health app awesome thanks anyway, I don't see any other more questions in the chat does anyone else have any questions or follow questions what we shared also feel free to take your microphone off and ask that way to I'm going to chime in mr. we are recording this so it'll be posted so the pieces that you messed you'll be able to turn my Bluetooth on our website if I can throw in one more thing just because I see a couple 8th grade parents on here I'm still looking for photos I know some of you have gotten them to me I haven't gotten them from others so if you have a chance and can you send me a photo of your students when they were itty bitty I would greatly appreciate it I will never has Gillespie I've been I've been trying to find a picture that fits Lux criteria so I really like some of the camp online will be live you're looking at then yes the idea is that there will be and I don't have my notes in front of me you know there will be a certain number of activities to join in every and some of them will be happening happening Liv and Steven can jump in there was there are three tracks to the summer program horse track a technologist M track call Brian, tell me that I can't remember the third track I can choose whatever ones they want so they can sign up for stem but then decide they want to do art I think things like cooking might be live and things like go for a hike or exploration might be pre-recorded but there will be both options option that will take place after regular Camp hours so I think the idea is that most of the would be between 9 and 3 and then the East Words which is a small additional fee will be I think it starts at like 4 4:30 in the afternoon when it stings to thinking about when you were staring at you need to just did like a thought process with the schedule Peace So if you are thinking of having your your child to like a summer or if they're scheduled you know even with their schedule changing over the summer we talked about like sitting down with them and letting have them have a say in the schedule I would also do that with as much time in advance as you can and then like a reminder getting close to it because our students they need that heads up and it might be nice for them to know about the schedule like a week in advance or something so that it gives them a week for a long weekend to kind of process it and and prepare themselves for what's coming on find students struggle at the end of the school year because they're going into a transition of going from school to not being in school some kids would be better off just staying in school all year because then there's no transition so just mindful that with that transition is what seems so simple to us if you're okay with change I'm not personally fond of it but that transition for them it's a much it could be depending on your a little bit bigger of a deal to them and they might need that time to process it any other questions anymore in the chat I see Cindy I know you're having a hard time getting your child's approval for the pictures to I say no choice on that other questions or or thoughts thank you this is been really helpful I would have just posted the I don't I don't know what that'll look like bold to speak without her parents know that they're going to the same thing kind of scare the experience has been really really good so I appreciate this is very valuable for a lot of reasons thank you you're welcome that's a good point to remember for everyone is that we're kind of all going through this together and experiencing the same things in a way so I think it's just a reminder that you're definitely not what you're feeling and please don't hesitate to reach out to any of the counselors your your child's own counselor or the other thing too next week if you have an older child next week we're going the same day same time Thursday at noon but it's for grades nine through 12 on the agenda is going to be very similar list of questions might be different from parents will get recorded also so you'll you could also catch that in recording did you hear me Tammy you look yeah I'm trying to figure out why I'm so used to do do Google meet your Michael it'll be so you're welcome to catch that in recording to so when will be recording be available shortly after you get send an email right away so I'm going to take the email and forward it over to Michelle minico's show posted I don't know where she posted any what's the tallest one sorry sometimes it takes awhile for my thing to pop up so I can unmute myself yet to post so I don't know I was going to talk with to figure out where we can post it that is private that's right we are talking sometimes to let everyone know that it's been posted in to find it the one for this week and then I'll do the same for next week's okay great there's no other questions then wrap up I'm happy it was helpful for you and we're happy to do it so let us know if there's anything else awesome thank you thank you guys have a good

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